I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize