That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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