So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
