The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
