I cockslap morals
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
