Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
