Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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