I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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