just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize