pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
