I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize