when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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