I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
