is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This baby is an asshole
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
