I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
