this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize