she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
