Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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