We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
