I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
In America we eat man semen.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
