This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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