Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
wow bdsm is so cute
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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