oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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