i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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