yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
