Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize