Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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