Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My vagina just clenched in fear
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
