my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
