So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
