You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
