i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
