Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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