ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
