We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize