Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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