Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
