I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
