You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
