every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.