The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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