I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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