I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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