How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you traded sex for a burrito?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
