Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
