Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
