Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
