Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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