11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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