I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
