have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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