As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Terrible idea I love it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
