Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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