Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
