hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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