Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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