I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
