I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
