at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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