Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
