We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
