HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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